A Boochaholic’s Recommendations
So I’m going to devote this post to kombucha making and the
truths and falsehoods of fermenting your own probiotic tea at home, because the
longer we make booch at the homestead, the more we learn about the process –
what works, what doesn’t, and what to avoid so you don’t blow up your kitchen
while making this epic fermented drink.
I turned a corner sometime last summer and became a full-on
kombucha-making disciple. There’s just no commercially made booch – even the
best out there – that compares to fresh homemade in terms of taste, fizziness,
wholesomeness, and strong vitality. Store-bought booch tastes bland and lifeless
to me now.
These tips also apply to a favorite fermented drink of mine
called ‘tepache’ – a fizzy, fermented pineapple drink popular in Mexico. We
made two batches of tepache last summer, and it was inspirational, pineappley
and amazing. But as we only use organic for fermenting, and organic pineapples
are hard to come by, we haven’t made it since. Another reason for summer to
hurry along and get here already.
As my husband says with such fluency, it’s an ‘absolute
shitter’ when the booch doesn’t turn out right and you must start all over
again. Our first couple of tries were failures, until we figured out that some
of what booch makers tell us isn’t necessarily right. So here we go.
Ingredients: We use distilled water only, and as we have a large
water distiller at the homestead, we’re able to make super fresh distilled H2O
(from well water) that hasn’t spent its life in a plastic jug. The quality of
the water makes a big, big difference. We use high-quality organic tea – either
black, red, or green – and organic, unbleached cane sugar. In my vegan journey,
I shy away from using honey, but I have used it when making Jun, the green
tea/honey version of booch. Honey is a hard habit to break.
Scoby: You can buy a scoby online, even on Amazon, but I
wouldn’t for the simple reason that making your own organic scoby at home is
insanely easy. It takes about a month to grow a fat, happy scoby. Also, you
know its source, you grow it with love and not for commercial profit, and you
can make it 100 percent organic and cruelty-free. Plus, it’s cool to watch a
scoby grow.
Heat: Heat makes fermentation happen faster and more
reliably. A heat source – we use an electric germination mat that we also use
in spring to germinate garden seeds – will shorten the time it takes for the
scoby to do its work, producing a less tart booch. I don’t like incredibly tart
kombucha: a touch of sweetness makes it smoother, and I think more digestible.
It tastes better, and for booch newbies, that’s probably a win. I’ve seen You
Tube ‘influencers’ say they don’t use a heat source during fermentation and
that their booch turns out fine. That’s not been the case with us. Use a safe
heat source during fermenting.
Second fermentation: A second fermentation is needed to
make booch nice and fizzy. Use a heat source during the second fermentation. This
reduces the amount of time it takes to finish to about three days.
Safety: During the second fermentation – when the booch is
now bottled and sealed airtight – you have to be careful about the pressure
that’s building in the glass bottles. Leave more than an inch of free space at
the top of the bottle to give the liquid room to expand. Every morning, ‘burp’
the bottles to release excess air. Neglecting this step sets you up for
disaster. The increasing pressure inside the bottles can cause them to explode,
sending booch and shards of glass to the four corners of your kitchen. Humans
and animals can get hurt. And your kitchen cleanup will be an epic undertaking.
I know this because we didn’t burp our first batch of homemade kombucha during
the second fermentation. The bottles exploded overnight, and our kitchen ceiling
is still stained with kombucha. There was kombucha and glass in every nook and
cranny of the kitchen, all over the floor, on the windows, and in our bowl of fresh
fruit, which we had to throw away - we couldn’t even compost it because of the
glass. At least no one was in the room when it happened and there were no
injuries. But still. We were not pleased.
Drinking the booch: Like yogurt, kombucha’s vitality fades
fast, so we make small batches that can be finished off within a week,
preferably less. The point of kombucha, besides its addictive flavor, is its
abundance of probiotics and enzymes that are so good for the gut and immune
system. These living entities have a short life span. This was the reason why
we started making our own. Store-bought booch has been bottled and on the shelf
for weeks, and sometimes months, before it’s bought and consumed. Its potency
is seriously weakened. It’s also why we make our own vegan coconut milk yogurt.
Yogurt cultures have a brief life span as well, and store-bought yogurt is a
fading flower, past its prime. What’s the point of these awesome foods if
they’re not fresh and vital?
Don’t give booch to your dog: Kind of hard to believe I
have to mention this, but there are boochaholics who say they give kombucha to
their animal companions. That’s madness. Dogs and cats have different bodies than
humans. Giving an animal kombucha is akin to vegans who feed their animals exclusively
vegan diets. Don’t be a noob. We all, animals and humans, share the same
limitless circuit of consciousness, but our bodies have evolved very
differently. Check your dog’s mouth and you’ll find sharp, large, long teeth designed
for tearing meat. Check your mouth and you’ll find the small, blunt teeth of an
herbivore. It’s unkind, controlling, and potentially very deadly to force our food choices on
animals.
Kombucha making is fun, habit-forming, and pretty easy. Our
next batch – we have a half-gallon jar going right now – is going to be
pineapple booch. I love pineapples. Put pineapple and kombucha together and you
have nirvana, end of discussion. Happy booch making, beautiful people.
Barbie xo
