Well-Being

I just returned a couple of days ago from a day visit to a beautiful Buddhist monastery. Chuang Yen Monastery is the eastern U.S. seat of Chinese (Han Buddhism), under the auspices of the Buddhist Association of America, in rural Carmel, N.Y.

I traveled there with a friend and didn’t have much time alone, but I found time in Kuan Yin Hall to sit quietly and open-eye meditate for a few minutes. I watched the monks come and go at the altars, changing flowers and removing fruit offerings, making space for new. I noticed their smooth, serene faces and gentle, determined eyes. They are silent with strong presence. They are deep meditators who live simply but powerfully. Just walking the monastery grounds with them was enriching.

My brief meditation settled on the subject of happiness, or well-being. My mind then traveled to love, which I realized in an instant is indistinguishable from well-being. I contemplated suffering and how many of us suffer so needlessly.

No one wakes up in the morning wishing to suffer all day. Whatever we do, whatever we hope, whatever we dream, somehow, consciously or not, in the short and long term, we have a deep and profound desire for happiness. Happiness is not a secondary preoccupation of life. We seek happiness all the time, wherever we go.

But happiness and pleasure are not synonymous. Well-being has nothing to do with what we own and little to do with what we experience. It’s a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment, a state that underlies all emotional states and all the joys and sorrows that come our way.

But we compulsively look outside ourselves, to separate conditions, to things we want, for well-being. This is a big mistake we make again and again. If it’s a penthouse apartment we’re after, a place of luxury and indulgence where we have absolutely everything we ever dreamed of having, rest assured that eventually, the only thing we’ll be looking for is a window from which to jump. We see a chocolate cake and have a first piece of it, and it’s delicious. The second piece: not so delicious. With the third piece, we feel disgust. The pleasure loses itself as we experience it.

The happiest people I know are those who possess the least outside of themselves. But their inner conditions are strong. In the most difficult of circumstances, they manage to keep serenity, inner strength, inner freedom, and sureness.

So what state of mind is conducive to this kind of well-being? I have no doubt that the path is simple meditation. I just learned that in meditation labs at The University of California at Berkeley, meditators who meditate on compassion or love under controlled conditions have brain activity outside of the bell curve in the left frontal cortex, where thoughts of kindness, selfless love, forgiveness, and compassion emanate.

Anger, arrogance, obsession, hatred, revenge, jealousy, obsessive desire, and strong grasping are averse to well-being. The more that these thoughts invade our minds, the more we feel miserable. But acts of selfless generosity give us all a sense of deep connection with our inner nature, a profound feeling of well-being. Have you ever done a random act of kindness and felt euphoric afterward? That’s what I’m talking about.

Is it possible to change our way of being to a state of consistent well-being? Yes, when we understand the nature of mind, the mere fact of being aware. Behind every single thought is pure awareness. The fabric of this consciousness is lovingkindness. Let’s familiarize ourselves with the pure awareness that lives behind every thought. We all have the potential for happiness and deep love even in the most difficult of circumstances. It’s low-hanging fruit, so let’s pick away.

Barbie xo