Life Editing
The message of minimalism is spreading faster than light. The word ‘clutter’ has exploded in our vocabulary. My husband and I are not only reducing our possessions, but also our waste. We’re streamlining our relationships, refining our circle of friends and family, and changing our programmed patterns of thinking.
We both have a few troubled people from our pasts who
insist on reappearing now and then, looking to reignite old feuds and old moods
and damaging patterns. I recently had an encounter with a friend who I’d long
ago forgotten, but who emerged one day to reconnect. The conversation was
draining and useless and fraught with all the passive aggression and
gaslighting that this person navigates with.
By all outward appearances it was a benign meeting, but it
wasn’t. All the old choreography was there. I felt depleted for days afterward.
When she tried to connect again, I chose to be honest, even to the point of hurting
her. There's just no room in my life for this relationship.
Reducing our possessions is only one part of minimalism. Clutter is not just ‘stuff’. Baggage comes in many forms. It may be an abusive family member, a selfish friend, a vengeful ex-spouse, or a dishonest work colleague. It may be your mother, your father, your husband or wife, or even your child. Whatever the source of this burden is, we’ll walk in peace only when we walk away from it.
After years of restructuring and reducing, I can say with
certainty that living with less is a revolutionary act that changes everything.
We have spent years buying things and filling our homes to the point of
despair. We embraced corporate marketing strategies all the way:
convinced that more things would make us happy, we’ve bought and bought to the scope
that many of us rent storage units year after year to hold what our homes can’t
contain. We fill our homes, our garages, our cars, our phones, our inboxes, our
minds, and our hearts with more than we can manage. We have totally forgotten
about the beauty of simplicity.
This is insanity. When my husband and I married, we had to
combine the households of two adults. Lots of things could have gone into
storage. But there was no way that I was going to bring with me anything that
couldn’t be carried in on one small moving truck. These rest was sold or given
away. I saw my marriage as a chance to grow and cultivate new awareness, and
you can’t grow when you’re mired down with stuff.
Today, if one of us brings home something new, at least one
of something of its equal is given away. Almost 100 percent of the time, we
give away three or four items of its equal. Our friends are always amazed about how
we give great things away all the time.
But getting rid of stuff only works and sticks when we
change our hearts and sincerely want fewer things and more freedom. The beating
heart of minimalism lies in changing our thinking. If we don’t get a handle on
that, all the things that we’ve freed ourselves from will finally find their
way back to us.
Minimalism is also about quieting the persistent chattering
voice in our minds. Mental clutter can be fierce. The mind travels at lightning
speed, and is largely consumed with worry. We worry far, far too much. In
living mindfully, the Buddha taught us to dispense with thoughts of the past
and concerns of the future. This precise moment is all that exists. Through
meditation, kindness, compassion, and right intention, believe me, we can all
be free of what Buddhists call the troublesome ‘monkey mind’.
Streamlining and simplifying our lives is necessary. We
have all fallen prey to the messages of purchase and attainment. The way out is
a lot simpler than most people know. Want less, own less, tolerate less, and
live more. Imagine freeing yourself from the cycle of working and buying, from
back pedaling into relationships and struggles that no longer serve you.
Envision having the time and energy and room in your head to do things that you
feel deeply connected to.
Change is a challenge. But think about it: what would it be
like to love and enjoy the company of everyone in our lives, to let go of anger
and resentments, to be free of addictions, to be liberated from fear, to release
things and people and make more space for change in our lives, to go
from clutter to clarity, and to be of service to others with hands wide open?
We’re all meant to shine this way. Minimalism offers these gifts. It has inspired
me. It will inspire you too.
Barbie xo
