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The fast was great. I was hungry most of the time (so much for the myth that the hunger subsides after 48 hours!) and grumpy in the evenings. I have a wonderfully patient husband who tolerates such dark moods. But the real gift of this fast came to me last night - the final night of the cleanse.
I meditate each day, always in the morning. But last night, I was so famished, I decided to escape into meditation. I’ve been a meditating Buddhist for 9 years, and always the meditation gets better and better. I’ve also always read about the combination of fasting and meditation and how incredible it can be. But I’ve never fasted and meditated at once. Until last night.
To put it plainly, it was transformative. I felt my heart open to the universe. I floated with the unfathomable darkness of the cosmos. Daisy was by my side.
I experienced my death – first agony, then ecstasy, and then I was gone. There was no fear, and then no self.
I can’t fully explain the richness and depth of it. I didn’t see it coming, but now that I’ve been there, I want to go back. Fasting is going to become a regular part of my spiritual life now. One breath at a time.
So a fast that was meant to purge toxins, water, and weight (which it did, plus my cough went away!) actually had a different purpose. A better one.
But the truth is, when this kind of thing happens, I can’t throw my life away and go and live in an ice cave somewhere and meditate for the rest of my life – much as I’d like to. I have to get up, feed the dogs, care for my husband, and go to work.
And that’s OK.
As surely as there is a journey to a marvelous land, there is a journey home again.